Annalee, my sweet-faced, second-grader, during her after-school interrogation. What does this entail? well, before the girls play after school, they are required to tell me all their deep, girly feelings. since that is hard to get out of anyone... I am, at least, allowed 4 questions. 1) what is something great that happened today? 2) what is something that happened that was not-so-great? 3) what happened that was interesting? 4) what is one thing that you learned? believe it or not, this usually tricks them into divulging more deep, girly feelings than i would have gotten otherwise. Maybe my favorite part of the day, these mama-daughter interrogations.

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Squeezing in as much outside time as possible before upstate New York becomes the bitter, lifeless tundra of frozen misery we all know and love.

when you give a wolf your first-born... the others will surely follow

so i sent three quarters of my children out into the world today.  (insert dry heave.)

i remember planning my back-to school outfit when i was little.  my favorite year was fifth grade, when i rocked black jeans and a teal short-sleeved shirt with matching teal earrings.  my mom always said the jeans were "brushed denim" which in my mind was as good as cashmere.  even if they were "brushed," they couldn't have been that classy because i definitely wore them with all-black reebok hightops.  which was great, because i definitely planned on dunking on all my friends that year.

all that to say, my kids were that excited last night.  i know they slept fitfully, if at all.  especially harper, since it was his first day of school ever.  he was 100% certain that he was going to have the best time of his life. when i picked him up he said "i tried to remember everything you told me, but i forgot to be a good friend to everybody."

oh boy.  that is just what a mother wants to hear on day one.  upon further clarification, i was less concerned because what happened was that he forgot to introduce himself to the kid who couldn't stop sobbing for his mother.  we had encouraged him to say kids that seemed shy or nervous, "hi my name is harper, what is your name?"  and follow up with "do you want to play?"  but, due to all the hysterics, harper forgot to network with that particular child.  sooo... he felt he was not a good friend to everybody, technically.

still, i think he did have a great time.  i am basing this on our trip to the drug store after school, where he literally told every single passerby that he was in preschool.  you would be shocked how many people seemed genuinely proud of this little stranger-boy with zero social boundaries.  i was quite proud myself.

i can't wait for annalee and marlie to get home to see if their first day went as well as harper's.  I pulled each of them aside this morning to remind them of who they are, and how great they will do, and what we expect from them at school.  then i let them each borrow a pair of my earrings.  it was adorable how special this seemed to make them feel.  they acted like this was a major privilege.  i mean, they were my regular cheap-o earrings... it's not like they were made of brushed denim!  still, it seemed to give them the little boost every gal needs before walking in to school on the first day.

i always go back and forth about school.  do i send them to public school, or to "the wolves" as my father-in-law calls it?  do i homeschool, and risk having them lose out on so many of the great experiences i had when i was in school?  do i send them to private school and file for bankruptcy?  i think most parents lament over these same questions... so, i don't claim to be going through something unique.  and i certainly don't claim to have any answers.  i know enough about life to admit that i know so little... that i cannot possibly pretend to know what is going to be the best decision for my own kids, let alone anybody else's.  i think we all have to work out all parenting decisions, with the insights, tools and convictions God has uniquely given us.  and that includes schooling decisions.  it is senseless to think that there is one educational model or scenario that suits all children.  (at least in my opinion it is.)

so, we have resolved to make a new decision, for each kid, for each year.  and as hard as it is to send them out into the world... this year happens to be that the 3 older kids are all in public school.  and i feel really good about that decision, for this year.  london, on the other hand, is going to a local community college this fall.  which is a little unsettling, so we will re-evaluate at the semester.

eye cannot do a video blog.

i woke up early this morning, and couldn't fall back to sleep.  i don't know if it is all the back-to-school buzz that kept me awake, or if it was the raging headache that arrived around 5:30am... but, i was in bed, wide awake when i got the most brilliant idea i have ever had.  i am going to do a video blog.

here is why it appealed to me:

1. i say what i think, and i write the same way that i talk.  why not save some time by cutting out the middle-man, and skip the writing and just say stuff?
2. i had all these clever ideas of what i would say, and how clean my house would be... (and if it wasn't clean, i would say something cute like "it's not my fault... the camera adds ten loads of laundry!"
3. you all could actually see my kids' personalities in real time!
4. for the avid ATATT readers, you guys would realize how difficult it is to get tom to answer any of my questions.  you would feel sorry for me, and be my fan, instead of tom's.

here is why it's not actually going to work:

1. i have spent almost an hour trying to access the BUILT-IN web camera on my tippytappy and i cannot.
2. i have a lazy eye.  okay, that isn't exactly true.  in real life, i have a regularly energetic eye, but for some reason when i am on camera one eye seems a little lazy.  not completely lazy, like it refuses to go anywhere, it more lags than anything else.  like it just needs a powernap and it'll be back on it's top game.  i don't know why this is, because in real life, it has all the energy and spot-on timing an eye could hope for... maybe it's camera-shy.
3. i really didn't have any clever things to say, except that one thing about the camera adding ten loads of laundry, and after an hour of searching for my webcam, it seemed less funny.  and i realized that the only funny thing about my video blog was going to be my one lackadaisical eye.
4. i do not mind being ridiculous in writing.  i don't even mind being ridiculous in person.  but i refuse to be ridiculous on video.  i will never be the girl with the video of herself (and her eye) on the internet so people can send it to their old college roommates with a caption that says "hey everyone! check out this video!  she doesn't say anything clever or hysterical... so just mute it, and watch that one eye try to keep up!  it's gotta be like that in real life too, for sure it's a lazy eye!"  nobody will believe it is just stage fright.

so, video-blog is off the to-do list.  my ego is fragile enough to avoid all that.  plus, i can't access the stinkin' camera should my ego decide to toughen up a bit.  it looks like for now, i will just have to be satisfied with being ridiculous in writing.  and in person.

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