living in a land of little weirdlings has led to some pretty strange conversations. here is a potpourri of some sentences i never imagined would come out of my mouth. many of these came out of my mouth in the past 48 hours.
- (gasp) "he painted the baby!"
- "you may NOT paint the baby."
- "thank you. i like your head too."
- "that is not poop in daddy's pits. it's hair."
- "please stop putting that in your ear."
- "please stop putting that in my ear."
- "if you can't think of anything to do then i will throw away all of your toys." (tom has tried to convince me that this threat is unrelated to the problem, but here was my thinking: if you can't find anything to do, then you don't need all these toys that are lying all over my house, and i can just throw them away. that way, you still won't have anything to do but at least my house is clean.
- "it's right here." (said in response to harper asking "where's yours brains?")
- "i am cooking dinner, you can get your own wedgie like a big boy."
- "well... you really don't marry uncles." (said in response to marlie using uncle jonny as a last resort for for a husband. she's four.)
- "yes, i promise." (said in response to marlie asking "can i really borrow your blue high heels for my wedding?" again, she's four.)"
- "your corn on the cob is NOT a drumstick."
- "harper, honey, there was not a fire in your room."
- "harper, honey, your buns were not on fire." (both of these fire-related remarks took place this morning.)
- "no touch technologies."
- "no touch-a 'tiques." (this is me reminding them, in their own language, not to touch the antique tea set sitting on my bookshelf.)
- "x is not a drum." (at any given time x can = a laptop, my chest, the fridge, the tray on the baby swing, the baby, etc.)
- "no more gremlin crying."
- "i am not a granny."
- "ok, two is not 'millions and millions.' "
- "ummm... i don't know if the birdie has buns."
i could seriously do this for hours. but i can't because i have a lot more weird conversations to have. so i want to know...
what is the weirdest thing you never expected to say out loud?