As some of my regulars (all four of you) know, I recently posted a blog called "never in a million years." It was a list of things that I never thought would ever come out of my mouth, but thanks to parenthood, actually did. So, this is a special, limited time only, road-trip edition of things I never thought I'd have to say out loud. Never in a million years.
1) "You may not even SAY juice box." (Said to harper, in response to the 455th request for a juice box.)
2) "do you smell butter?" (Referring to the unique smell of London's full diaper.)
3) "there is no jumping, pushing or pulling by a canyon."
4) "no thank you risking your life."
5) "thank you for apologizing, I forgive you, but if you do that again you will fall and crash and be all gone."
6) "clap real loud so the rattlesnakes know we're coming."
Z7)"k guys, we have to eat very tidy so the bears don't come."
8) "honey, that's not a geyser, that's a sprinkler." (or fog, steam, a smokestack, etc.)
9) "I promise you will not fall in that big toilet."
10) "no, you may not." (Said in response to marlie asking "can I just get one little pinch of that baby's bun?"
11) "nope, no more picking rare flowers."
12) "we do not put our native american clay stones in our mouths."
13) "for a moment." (In response to harper asking if he can "be wake?")
14) "honey, you're not burning."
15) "I know sweetheart, we're all burning."
16) "look at that little granny, isn't she cute?"
17) "you need to apologize to christine for peeing at her party."
18) "london's pacifier is not in the oven."
19) "she just spit up in my mouth! Ew, my own breastmilk..."