July 10, 2011

A buffet of ridiculousness

For readers returning from my early blogging days, you may remember a few posts entitled "Never in a Millions Years." These posts were a sort of list of things I never thought I would say (or hear) in a million years. Below is a Road Trip Sampler Platter of things that I never imagined I would speak, or hear spoken, out loud.

Harper: "Enjoy the feel. Aaannnd, look at the bright side." (The kids take turns each day being Captain of decision-making, and this was what Haper offered up for the Captain's advice-o-the-day.)
Me: "There is no reason for your hand to have that much shine." (This was after I gave Harper a very small piece of candy. So small, that it should not have produced any mysterious hand shine - usually saliva or stickiness.)
London: "Cracker got me!" (When London gets upset, she will ask for either Tom or I by saying 'Mama/Dada got me!' It's her sweet little way of saying she wants one of us to get her. If she falls! 'Mama got me!" Or if Tom is walking away, and she wants to go too, 'Dada got me!'. Recently it has become her way of asking for anything she wants. Hence, 'Cracker got me!')
Me: "Yes, you can say 'good morning' to the serious campers, but you can't spit your toothpaste that loud when they're nearby."
Harper: "Sometimes animals poop on dair floor, but I will only say dat once because it's rude to keep talkin' 'bout dat."
Marlie: "I took a nice, little nap and now I changed my heart so next time we have to leave I will say 'Okay, well we had tons of fun and we can come back again another time.' That way it won't ruin the other fun things we have planned." (This wasn't totally ridiculous, but it was pretty cute.)
Me: "Juice should not come out of your face." (One of my many selling points in my pitch for chewing with your mouth closed.)
Me: "When a car is coming at you, you can't just look at it. You have to actually move back." (Lessons in Basic Survival 101.)
London: "Cake? Cake? Cake! Cake? Cake?" (Asking for a marshmallow? Cake. Asking for maple syrup? Cake. Asking for anything slightly sweet? Cake.)
Me: There shouldn't be any whining while I cook dinner, your tummies should be full of ice cream." (I feel a little shame on this one... But dessert was Captain's Choice. Marlie was Captain and her Choice was ice cream before dinner.)
Harper: "Mama I have a little skin peel. Can you really fix my skin peel?" (I still have no idea what this means."

Now for All Tom, All the Time's Sampler Platter. (That title is something I never thought I'd say in a million years.)

Tom: "I'll even take one on the side of the road, like roadkill." (Tom's desperation has spiked as we are nearing the northernmost tip of Maine and still have not spotted a real, live moose.)
Tom: "That black bird sucks." (When I tried to lift his spirits by pointing out a nice crow instead.)
Tom: "There is no more asking for gumballs, we will surprise you with one when it's time."
Tom (a short while later): "There is no more asking us when we are going to surprise you with gumballs."
Tom (whispered to me quietly): "If someone drops their wrap and tuna gets in this car I'm just going to drive right into a tree."
Tom: "Did you see that crispy wizard crotch?" (Somehow Harper's mispronunciation of 'sesame sticks' morphed into 'crispy wizards.'. So, when London spilled a cup of sesame sticks in her lap, it created a 'crispy wizard crotch' worth checkin' out.)
Tom: "And the worst part? I can't find Gandalph."

2 comments:

  1. Thanks for the updates - the pics are wonderful and stories are great. Enjoy!

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  2. "If someone drops their wrap and tuna gets in this car I'm just going to drive right into a tree." LOL This is the best!! My brother would so say that. He hates tuna and the smell. :D

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