As I shared before, we decided not to share a picture of our new baby boy, Jaylen, because there was still a small chance that his first mom could revoke her consent for us to parent him. We wanted to be cautious and respectful. During our last visit, I had a conversation with Miss N. (Jaylen's birthmommy), where she looked at me like I was crazy for not posting pictures! This girl amazes me time and again... she wants people to see his picture, to celebrate his arrival, and to see his gorgeous face! She asked that I send pictures and videos of his homecoming, because she wants to see him welcomed home. I don't know if I have the stuff it would take to see strangers welcome my child into their lives, while I watched from a distance. I admire her selfless love, and her genuine joy in his being placed in our home. I want to be like her when I grow up.
Our conversation about the photos got me thinking about the fear I am still holding. I have said over and over that I want to live fearlessly, letting go of self-protection in favor of grace and recklessly abandoned faith. These things are true, but I am also still scared she will change her mind. She has given us no reason to believe that will happen, but it is still a very vulnerable position to be in - for both her and us!
Still, she gave us permission to share pictures with the world... and I am delighted to do just that!
So, here is the debut of our special guy, Mr. Jaylen Jonathan Khalil Capuano