October 7, 2013

Day 7: An Explosion, a Rejection, and Some Very Questionable Bags.

We've got one week down out of our 31 Days of Kindness!  I'm so proud and thankful to those of you who have joined in this week!  I have an idea, let's celebrate by having everything go wrong today!

Oh wait, that already happened.

We kicked off Day 7 by taking apples to the library, and handing them out to the staff and volunteers that so patiently and considerately collect our books, and let's be honest, our fines.  They seemed pleasantly surprised!  There was one lady who "had a lot of dental work done" so she couldn't eat hers.  I'm pretty sure that means she thinks we put razor blades in the apples.  But overall, it was a success.


I think the success got me a little ahead of myself, because when we left the library and saw a girl in a Wegman's uniform presumably walking to work, I maybe got a little too excited.  Marlie and I sprinted across the parking lot to try to catch her and give her an apple and that's when this happened...




The plastic bag we had the apples in spontaneously combusted, which sent the apples spewing all over the land.  I know it sounds a little dramatic to call this an explosion, but if I am exaggerating, then how did this happen??


That is gravel embedded in my apples.

Even after I plucked the shrapnel out of each apple, I was afraid that they would no longer be appealing to strangers.  Sure, only one side was  exploded  a little banged up, but unless you are horse, I don't think you'd want them.

Which got me to thinking... Yes! Horses!  That's the ticket!  

I insisted that we drive to the nearet horse farm and deliver these gravel-free treats to the horses!  The kids were so excited, and we got there and the farmer graciously and heartily accepted the apples and the horses felt loved and we all lived happily ever after.

That, or the horse farmer rejected our apples, and me as a person, I'm pretty sure.  She claimed that they "do not feed their horses by hand" and therefore had no need for our apples.  What!?  How do they feed them?  By robotic arm?  Do they catapult the food over the fence?  Are they zip lining across and dropping little bombs of hay?  And why not apples?  Even if you feed them in a handless manner, is it true that they could have no possible use for apples!?

Okay, admittedly I don't know much about having a horse farm, but I do know that if I ever found myself in a position where I was farming horses and a mother showed up at my farm with five adorable children offering my horses delicious treats, and absolutely could not feed my horses these perfectly razor-blade-and-gravel-less apples, I would eat every last one of them right there on my front porch.  In front of the children.  Cores and all.  Any other response would just be rude.

The starving horse.  Hungry for both apples, and human touch.  Both have been offered tonight, and cruelly denied.

From there, we went to a local park to pick up litter as a family. Upon our arrival, we were disappointed to discover that our town takes pretty good care of our local parks and playgrounds.  After a more thorough look, however, we were pleased to discover that there were plenty of nightmarish gems for us to clean up.  These are just some of the highlights...


Annalee found this "really big water bottle."  And by water, I mean vodka. 


An unexplained pile of tomatoes.

I passed on the picture, but we also found a couple of dime bags with just the tiniest bit of pot at the bottom and two bags full of poop.


The kids actually had a great time doing this, and it beats some of the acts of kindness they have come up with on their own. (London's first act of kindness was "eating a sandwich.") 





So, even though Day 7 was more like "Random Acts of Disaster" as Marlie remarked... I still think that the kids are learning a lot and people are being blessed.  

Horses, though, not so much.







4 comments:

  1. Someone else's random act of kindness was leaving a pile of tomatoes at the park!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh man Lara, I am laughing out loud... Great stuff.

    ReplyDelete
  3. You should write a book, it would be a bestseller but the shelf stocker wouldn't know if they should put it in the biography or comedy section

    ReplyDelete