gone baby gone

I am very sad to say that we are on our way home.

Yesterday we got a call from our adoption social worker about the possibility of adopting a baby girl who is due in a few weeks. After hearing and praying about all the specific circumstances, some of which may be challenging, we decided to go ahead and submit our family profile for the birth mother to review.

Right after that our realtor called to let us know that a potential buyer wants to look at our house.

These two things felt like the last of a million arrows that were pointing us to go back home early.

So, we left with the intention of showing our house and saving those vacation days for when we need to bring the baby home if we were chosen. Sadly for us, the birthmother decided that she preferred a childless couple.

Deep down, I am thrilled for the couple that will become first-time parents. But the more shallow, self-focused part of me is just plain sad. It felt like all the junk that kept happening on this trip was going to make perfect sense, because it was all leading up to our baby.

Unfortunately, we have come to the realization that all the junk that happened was probably leading up to a bear mauling, and God knew that only the possibility of more babies was gonna tear mama away from this trip.